DROWNED

I take a leap every night,
to feel my blood turn,
Charred scarlet ice.

Lamest of all,

Tragedy of happiness,

Death in itself,

Rewarding abandoned beauty.

The life, the joy,

Soaked to the labyrinth of root.

Gravity with no effect of buoyancy,

Attracts the most stable form.

Slowly captivating every inch,

The love based asphyxiation.

Heart soo nimble,

Pumping exhumation of blood.

Filled with exasperating emotions of affection,

Still feeling helpless.

I can see the bright,

Preferring the dark,

Feels right.

Teary, glassy and empty eye,

Throbbing head,

 Moving limbs seek no direction.

Slowly seeps in the sweetest form of nature,

Absorbs the sweaty creature,

Fills the pounding parts,

Waits until I respond to every torture,

Produced with utmost love

And slowly I subjugate,

Its mastery wins over my slavery.

Airport Sickness - I HAVE TO GO

As devastating as it seemed,

The wait that never was a dream,

But the mundanenistic – titillating twinkling path,

Curvy notions of wilderness,

Cloaked by modernism.

“Professionals” they claim,

Jenny bangs a stud at 100kbps!

Concocting lamest of the stories....

Sticking to the rationalistic, generalization of Poets???

Well, I beg to differ,

For I ink what my twinkling pair perceive.

Vast expanse of shimmering light,

Even when darkness follows the idealistic end.

Faces so gay, faces so weary,

Faces so in love, faces so in despair,

Faces waiting for the same!

And my hand wants to grab him..!!

HAHA! Randomness,

‘coz my fearless-shy soul,

Looked into his!

Cat in a box!

Rides the pram with a disgruntled kid!

OH! How mean,

Old man and your teen wife!

“Don’t be afraid of getting old, life is full of joy”

Coincides in harmony.

I can’t help but spurt out a short loud laugh!

Indianism of 10,

75% being children!

Intrigued and amused,

Loudness interferes and challenges,

Serenity of Starbucks!

I almost lost my purpose,

I wondered, I smiled, I frowned,

But never WAITED the WAIT!

Boredom though brewed with my latte,

Sought to ponder the happenings!

In solitude again,

I see him,

My hands ache again,

Heart cries out, eye speaks,

Seconds move on!

But why is my stomach home for millions of butterflies, GUILT?..!

I am free to watch, admire, crush,

What is holding me in the spot?

A mesh full of holes,

Yet so opaque!

SPACE OUT, WOMAN LOOK....

I spear my vision one more time,

Find myself in the fake light.

Its awe-striking, destinations promised,

The end I look at,

Is so confusingly manhandled!

Ah, a glimpse of home,

Exciting tourists flashing artificial eyes,

Capturing the land of pick-up and drop,

Literally in the air!

Ah! The feeling of home!

I smile one more time!

So close,

I refuse to leave,

Lessons of freedom being detached,

The rules drifting me apart!

Walk of fame,

Along the glorious path of exit!

This cannot be the end,

Or can it!?!

Like always the end is never the end!

He lingers on and so will this!

ARGHH, My purpose.... lost again!

I have to go now,

Like, have to have to.

Let myself float above ground,

Free my existence,

Believe in the devil, reality.

Hope to fall down,

Through the misty, enchanting,

Shivery, chilled, land of the passed on,

To seek my end!

Scared of the sharpness in my bag,

I don’t want to lose it,

Yet brave to face the slap.!

But, now....

I have to go,

The quintessential way of life,

All succumb to it,

Chapter to chapter,

With or without any connection!

The Wait...!!

I can lead a life.

Momentarily, I m a game,

Pawned by whims,

Diced to chance by immoral fate.

I place my sight,

Open my ears.

Only to listen to,

The devil in every human form.!

I can wait,

If it happens,

A split second away.

Make believe, fake gestures,

Slow drain, broken,

Tap running, missing value!

Salty exterior,

Honey thick brutalness!

Sucking it all in,

Only to live for cadavered hope!

I question....

Why does life exist,

When it has to painfully endure,

Ruthlessness, bickering lies,

Endless lost stories of draught!

I will wait,

When HE invites me,

I will walk the bloody carpet,

Ladled with shiny,

Yet cunning diamonds.

I shall feel,

Liberty, freedom,

Sanity, love, meaning,

Purpose.

Only when I wait,

To get there, the end,

But the fresh breath,

Of my other life,

In the sweet unknown,

Land of the dead.!

RAIN....

I live to give you my soul,

I live to give you my life.

Why don’t you breathe into me,

Your craving desires.

Drop onto me and burn my skin,

Leave on it your greedless blot.

Bring me back from the dead,

And lead me to breathless ecstasy.

Turn my humanity,

Into a beloved phoenix.

Pour into me your cold, big, quivery,

Bleak yet so strong, iota of life,

That you seep into my every gnarled vein,

Twist it till it runs blood,

Then wet it with you chilled sloppiness.

Bring with you sounds of the heaven,

Let it call on me,

Satan, let him woo me.

I will run and hide,

In the shudders of a frail dwell,

Come, look for me with a gushing, wavy,

Messenger of blatant truth...

A friend.

I shall only procure your every,

Sinful drop,

Only to feel more alive,

Yet so dead to the,

Bitter, lamented willow,

Called life.

BUT, itellyou, just make me feel alive...

An anecdote of the heart....

“Let me be”, she yelled,

Her life was another “hell”..!!!?

Oh, how cliché she blurred,

With her heart sinking,

Eyes bestowed with bloody, damp-dry,

Brutalized pearls

Smile a troubled crescent,

Shivers, so jittery,

Mumbled with,

Hot sweat cradled dead!

Forsaken,

Throned to rule.

The disfigured, musty,

Thick mutilated,

Ruins of love!

Border she peered into,

Many-a-times just a rusty ferrum.

GIVE UP!

NO! YES!

If she cant say it,

Let her burry her soul,

While she was chained,

Bonded, shackles tied strong.

Only her heart,

Pure yet smoked with tar,

Cried,

Could she ever love again?

What's in store beyond?

She had lived her dream,

She had walked the line.

She saw the malicious yet adept endeavour,

Was she satisfied.?

Replenishing life,

Enjoying death,

Light was after all what she reaped.

Brightness was all she seeked!

Standing before the labyrinth,

Wood embedded with,

Luscious gems,

THE DOOR,

She asked.....

What’s in store beyond?

Stepping over the glorious hench,

Mesmerized, enthralled,

Crossing over,

Would the aberrant memory remain?

Twirling the dark clouds,

Encountering evanescent souls,

Her mind slipped into,

Begoing virtue of the past.

Dropping her very serenity,

A second thought?

Leaving behind the awakening effulgence.

The only matter that,

Swallowed her marvellous being!

Was she contemplating?

Before the last thug,

Before the grievous letting go,

Came her soul,

Into delirious, cunning,

Deranged, evil, deminitorious,

Being of yet another neverending life!

Years of dismay passed,

Shaking and waking up,

Aw-immoral night!

He with a ting of austerity,

Touched his chest.

Screamed out the cracked voice,

Clenched his fists,

The bulging enduring muscles,

Tightened abs.....

Where am I?

The body once cherished,

Curves, decaying yet promised,

Subtlety,

So gracious,

Delicate,

Elegant!

She, he....

What’s in store beyond!

The awakening of the light,

Seemed to be dropping the hint,

The life... he remembered,

What has gone beyond, he pondered,

Fogging away the cerebrum,

Life had its evil bewilderment!

Nothing colourful yet the,

Hidden rainbow.

Slapping his cheek,

Trying to wake up...

Oh wait... bed’s far away...!

He had to pass on,

He had to let go,

Spectacle of such sort,

Only another blackened chimera!

Oasis of life, so right!

What’s in store beyond?

Ah! Who knows,

But the passed on..!!!

Parody of Afterlife.!

Stranded, left to stealthy darkness,

Full moon, dried crispy crackling leaves,

and braches of autumn.

Now the dead awakened,

Bones free of disintegrated flesh,

Embalmed  orts,

worships her feet.

Her eyes seeks the mortal,

Dusty rusted cadaveric casket,

Commendably deceived by molten fog.

Compassionately dragging her mortalized limbs,

Fighting the friable residue,

Tolerating the ghastly wind,

She walked into the besieged unknown.

The rusty casket, she longed to look into,

Time had worked its mysterious way,

Yet could not behold the curiosity.

She blew the muddy dust,

Moved her hand hastily,

Delirious was she,

Stagnantly stared upon her clay.

Emptiness and austerity,

Her chastity was questioned.

Soul faced the mutilated carcass,

Mortal and immortal,

 two emancipated words.

She was just another soul.!

THE LIGHT, she heard a whisper,

Heaven or hell, she heard a question,

A choice? Or is it derogatory?

She wore her invisible cloak,

Drowned by the unhampered metal,

Yet so malleable when shot with blatant honesty.

Her bodiless sanctum,

Speaks to the voice from the light.

karma, truth, lie, heaven, hell,

angels, devils, sprits

salvation, death

God, Satan,

All veridical.!

Blind Death

Red blue yellow pink,

Not as bright as grey.

Bloom of the sun flower,

Wish that only day dwellers lurked.

“MOTHER”, her irritating screech,

Echoes amidst the five enduringly burnt walls,

Ah you imbecile brute, 

“SHUT”... *seeks to hear this the least,

Only to her vain that she seeks no answer.

Oh! My sweet scented bouncy bed,

Brittled rusted bench of iron,

Deleteriously ladled with black roses,

Dipped in strawberry scent.

Struggles her every breath,

Unknotting her eyebrows.

Every scissure felt but numbness,

Overwhelmed with agony pulled,

Sore eyes mixture of hope and famine,

Whilst hope drowns in delirious bay,

Famine gains conscious to look upon an eclipse.

                                                                        

She runs hither,

Bumps her head into a wall,

Rebounded into another,

Scratches her leg against a viciously shiny sharp edge.

On her legs again,

Tracing the obvious.

Willows of enduring fresh dream,

Leaps of unmeasured glory,

Touch of dew droplets,

Smell of crisp bright green leaves,

Acers of thick virgin bumps of black clouds,

Yet filled with utopia of chilled rain.

She crouched herself in a dark corner,

Lost in her despair.

Only her mind could see the wonder,

Yet not seem to atop it with cream.

Only moments later did she feel the heat of brightness,

Her being was temporary,

She had passed on,

Her dismay had been answered,

Darkness had only one shot of truth,

She was left beyond,

She was blind,

She was dead.

You Were Never Mine...

Tables have been laid,

My perseverance cannot be withheld further.

Forks, knifes, spoons, cups and,

Platters smeared with forsaken sweat.

You can only wish to unsheltered hope,

For a melody to be heard,

only to be smothered by stealth again.

I tore open my unwilling chest,

Showered your being with aster,

You hold my arm,

Lead me to the depth of dismay.

While I walk the pavement,

Chasing every joyous unheard note.

Uncensored was my mind,

To you it was nothing but ersatz.

Sad? You should have,

Torn my withered skin you touched with lust,

Crushed my dried flesh,

Bent and burnt my brittle bones,

Scooped out the coagulated, ethereal lumps of blood,

Squeezed that wretched clown of hearts,

Claiming to roots,

Concealed in it, berserk love,

Then “sad”, wouldn’t seem more coarse,

Yet, a word search wouldn’t cater as much...!

I gave up my insanity,

To hear you say ‘I love you’,

With only mind abhor.?

*sigh*, only an expression,

After every emotion being over exploited.

Oh! How you tangled my unvarnished being,

A troll stands over me screaming “you were never mine”

Angelic Devil

She was an epitome of apathy,

Only if she knew the knack.

She shakes upon,

killing being a cardinal sin.

deep angelic incision,

pricks the veins, arteries, bones, flesh,

so deep, blood in its comedic tragedy,

thick yet so viciously viscous,

captivates her inborn innocence,

turns it into nomadic treachery.

She embarks upon her life after death,

Would be justified only if she sipped,

Poisoned potion off the urban glass.

Lack of insight,

Lack of brilliant ambiguous dreams,

She lies down,

Standing upon fear,

Like sheep upon lion.

Drowned in her REDness,

She slowly closes her dried eyes,

And gambles her watery lips into a crescent.

Only to be remembered as a lost soul.

Promise

Promise me, you’ll kill those devils,

that strangely, quietly strangle my breath.

Promise me, you’ll keep me warm,

When there’s haunting graveyard chills.

Promise me, you’ll pull me out,

From a swirling whirlpool of demented lunatics.

Promise me, you’ll stand by,

When I drop down and bleed of shame.

Promise me, you’ll rescue me,

From the deranged brains.

Promise me, you’ll hug me tight,

When I look away into the foggy bewildered world of darkness.

Promise me, you’ll kiss me tight,

When wander off into unimaginably materialized depth of fake.

Promise me, you’ll fight the imbecile,

who torments my existence.

Promise me, you’ll keep my faith,

When I ponder over flimsy dilemma.

Promise me, you’ll hold my hands,

When I run into bitter captivity.

Promise me, you’ll smile and not frown,

When I ramble upon pitfalls.

Promise me, you’ll walk with me,

Even if I stumble upon an eerie rock.

Promise me, you’ll retrieve my soul,

If I trade it with the devil.

Promise me, you’ll show me light,

When I fall into a labyrinth of chaos.

JUST Promise me, you’ll feel eternal love and care,

and I promise to ignore the other promises and dance with u, the glorious path of euphoria...

foolish endevor...

never did you care,

never did you want.

now I know,

all that I did and hoped for,

another massacre of freakish need.

like the willows,

I whoop to reach the ground.

like the massive tornado,

I destroy to reach ultimatum.

you just sit there and carry upon a treacherous smile,

and I scan only abhor.

ladle dipped in thick blood,

served with a soiled smirk,

how I wish to speak,

but, heart drowns in the overwhelming abyss of the ocean,

when it sees you twirling your eyeball with disgust.

and I thought you would UNDERSTAND.

She lived on....

She sits with her cup of strong coffee, unconsciously looks into transparent air, and imagines colors that once looked upon her as unregistered souls. Nights, went without a trace of translucent withered heart, aching for one second of that glimpse of joy. How? She thought, how could one lose that very tinge of comfort in a jiffy? Was she worthless, or was the time she used up going over each word said, each breath taken, the soft touch, every gesture, worthless? Her pondering would never end, silence was her arch enemy.

Her virgin lips were invaded by his strong masculinity. She feared her guts out, but her innocent, unconditional love blew her mind out of wits, dreamland was not too far, or was it...! She was touched, caressed, fondled with utmost care. He gently embraced her in his carefully exercised robust arms, she shivered at his very touch, being hugged in a way that she never imagined, she smiled to herself but warm salty tears rolled down her wheatish skin as she wondered if she had sinned. Never in her wildest dreams, had she thought of feeling something like... this, violently erupting volcano of hot lava plus a streak of ice cube running down the lining of her stomach. She had given him more than what she contained; her very being was donated to his call.

“hahahaha, you fool.... nooooooooo

Why is my head laughing, and my heart crying?

You know why.....! hahahaha”

Her mother sitting across the dinner table banged the plate when she saw her crescent shaped lips and watery eyes; her mind was filled with disoriented thoughts yet she adored him deeply. Was all this a game? Was it played to satisfy a physical being? Were all his words trick cards? Was it a chance taken on the dice rolled on craps? Her mind was blocked, her heart spoke, yet she was eaten away by the whimsical portray of love. She could listen and sang along every melancholic tune played, she screamed from within and wandered around searching for a note that hummed in the name affection, she found all that were antagonistic to her impatient shabby search. Her eyes that once twinkled when he smiled looked mutilated. Trust that she withheld in her tender heart was massacred and brutally stomped upon. His very thought brought anguish, but she couldn't stop her heart from wishing his soul all the happiness it deserved. She would only lament about her unfortunate heart, but never blame him for his ruthless conduct. He had murdered her from within, she watched herself in the mirror but only aimlessly combing her thick black hair. Torn skin, dried blood, scrapped off every coagulated lump, reach that amiable yet capricious organ, tear that apart and in the deepest lobe was where he rested.

“CUT THAT WRIST

SLIT THAT THROAT

GULP DOWN THOSE TABLETS

KILL THAT FUCKING WRETCHED WORM” 

Crouched legs, hands on the steel coffee cup, a corner, wondered if she was sitting way below ground almost burned alive. There were times when she skipped a heartbeat of content and presented an unquestionable smile, sitting in the same position. Today she had hit on the wrong side of the nail; she wanted to puke as she licked saline water mixed with coffee off her lips. Her nights were created only to absorb his very existence, which now had turned into worthless waking hours of doodling. Love, what she thought or felt, was like her every day chimera; it had to change, it had to go away, she couldn’t last another minute failing to answer every lost question.

She would love him till death or even after her body was turned into ashes and her soul lived on. Her love for him was immense and unmatched to any other feeling she experienced.  She would give away her immortalized ghost just to see him smile. Forgiveness did not exist for she never was furious with him. Yes, that’s how much she loved him! But then again, she would be true to her conscience and say “I told you thusly”, whilst her heart reflected only apathy. A mistake was looked upon, she studied and registered her moves, though she was all ashes from within, she promised herself to witness colors of joy hereon, and that’s how she walked away with dignity...!

28 years later... and that's how you 'de ghumake'

Today was the day I started off with inviting my loved ones home to share that some-how Déjà vu 'ed moment of India bagging THE TITLE. Yes, I almost cried and lost hope when Sewag was sent off the field, and when I heard that Sachin didn’t make his 100th 100. 97, and Ghambir was struck out of the crease, my heart just sunk. Dhoni at 91 stood tall and mastered every walk and every strategy showcased on that field today. One hell of a captain, salute to his every move.

2003, sitting with my granddad, watched and learned every hit, every ball played, through his eyes. That’s how I was introduced to the world of cricket. OH.. How I remember him saying "Next time guys, I’m sure u'll do it"... N today I miss his very presence. I just think, he's rejoicing his mug of beer with his fellow angels up above.

Riding back home, roads filled with tri color glory, small little toddlers to uncles and aunties, every INDIAN in the basking light of the WIN screaming "INDIA!!! JAI HIND!!!" craves you to be a part of every deep breath taken, and exhaled in the highest pitched voice ever, and lift your hand up towards the foggy sky...! Also needless to say, INDIA has just one religion and that’s CRICKET. Yes there is no looking back, yes we are ONE, yes we are invincible, and yes we are the freaks who claim to have blue blood... WAT THE HELL.... We are INDIANS and HELL YEAH... from our veins to our deepest arteries we BLEED BLUE...!!!!!

Lingering saga

another day, another light,

why does it miss my sight?                                    

another night, another dark,

why does it find my sight?

spot the corner filled with hope,

why do I tangle with the blur?

implausible malignant tears,

why do I even try to fight?

mirage of my face stares back,

why is it dubious?

mirror image as true to itself, the opposite,

why is it another dubious plot?

they say shadows follow your every move,

why can’t the obvious be proved?

story of black hole, how fascinating,

why can’t the gravity shoot a miracle n grab me in?

I can call out hard,

why does only smile overshadow my heart?

inside filled with melancholic rage,

why does only laughter take the stage?

fluttering head turns all around,

why can’t it find a single soul to hug?

heart is nothing but a fatuous illusion,

why can’t it be just another lethal organ?

even omnipotence cannot save the mortal,

why am I being so imbecile?

cry cry u stupid girl,

coz all u get out of this, is a esoteric vicious smile!

Boredom....

I have not censored certain words for, its how I feel....

Muted television,

Opened book,

Unconscious googling,

Nail biting,

Fidgeting between rooms.

Darkness, light, blind intuitions, and final déjà vu...!

Beamingly.. heart's empty,

Rested brain never rests..stay!

Rebounds of hysterical illusions,

Hits me in the face when reality slips.

Step out into the flowery garden,

Hoping to shimmer in the colorful glory.

Sigh, shame!

Withering petals and understated thorns.

Dragging her feet along, again hoping for hope,

Digs right in, fresh juicy crimson blood,

Globules of stray string pastes of dark flesh.

Not a sign of hostility or integrity,

Pain in its most integrated form dehydrates a mortal.

Oh.... what a shitty place to be!

Oh.... what a fucked up thought!

Run away run away,

Into a vast expanse.

As lost it may seem,

It’s all the simplicity a pondering mind yearns.

I always conclude with questions,

Hollow is the last word.

Never-ending can lead to ends,

Bounded by no closure.

YES, Boredom is a fucking bitch...!

never ever......

Another sleepless night..... rather a jobless devil sitting on the steps of the temple wondering where to go, agnostic yet a believer.... nevertheless it gets me to write weird, sometimes vague thoughts, metaphorically "sheep hunts a lion" (does not make any sense..? meant not to.....)

Just how much more can I let go,

if only, if only you could see beyond borders.

my mind enters a funeral,

darkness filled with certain serenity.

why is that I find this exasperating,

insanity overboard..?

jolt of lightening within a black body,

ah, my vision does not reach the aforementioned tinge.

blood that seemed so alive and red in the vein,

Dried, blackened, chipped n left to FATE.

THERE.....

on a sleepless night... this is what I got myself to do for 15mins... 


oh "hey" i see you,
there? no, but yeah i just saw you.
instant flash of rays,
blinds my pupils in mysterious ways.

bottom of a canopy in my vicinity,
but a black hole stares back mighty.
oh why the rage?
and why all the meaningless craze?

if all i need is clarity,
why nature fancies opposite polarity?
needless to say "wallow it off",
will it lessen the "wandering off"?

From here n there....

1)
U r one confusing brat,
Don't let me fall into a rat trap.
Going beyond my reach was a huge leap,
So, let me go for I know d ghastly valley is DEEP...!


2)
Times change, history always repeats,
why don't I learn from d obvious heart aches?!
I m stuck amidst the whims of an abyss,
slap me in the face n say "unknot yourself from the lace"


3)
Yes, he's a mess,
help me think widout a mesh.
When you cant say heaven frm hell,
How do I say whats underneath that shell.?


3)

Falling way beyond 6 feet,
hydrophobia while swimming is what i love.
Emotional fool, a non-edible so called "MEAT",
creeps the hell out when I look at the blind curve.

Ah.. REALLY???!!!

I remember writing about how what I dream never seems to take that leap its required to take. I had almost stopped dreaming and just worked towards something so unreal and so not ME. I had almost given up. My thoughts about how dreaming is wonderful, and reality sucks had turned into dreaming sucks and reality is God. Listening to my favorite music was the only thing that kept me alive. Dealing and compromising with what I thought life had in store for me was all I did every waking hour. Surprisingly, I felt dopped when I had dreamless nights. Felt like a corpse... no soul only body.. and a burried one indeed. I was lost in a vast Abyss that life had created for me.

But, I wake up to a great morning right after my 22nd birthday. Sipping coffee and staying silent and looking beyond the coconut tree... I think how life had taken an unexpected turn.
*ting tong* the bell rings, I drag my feet, open the door to a courier guy.
"Sunetra?"...
 "yeah! its me!"
I sign and receive a letter I had hoped and worked hard for all my life.
*pinch* OUCH...! YEAH.. REALITY... no a DREAM turned into REALITY. I was FOOL not to realize that dream and reality always go hand in hand...!

Just how life works in mysterious ways, no one has ever got anything before time or what they dont deserve. I am BACK on track... I DREAM ON again..! n HELL YEAH I DREAM.... Bring it on life..! :D :D

Kalmane Diaries

Strong coffee, chitter chatter, uncomfortable couples, singles hoping to find their one, make ups, break ups, laughter, crying, fights, sugar fights, Kannada songs playing in the background and sometimes the love struck R&B (weird but,worth a laugh each time it plays)... the place couldn’t get more diverse.

“hey Kalmane” – Friend 1

“sure le, in 30” – Me

Enter the place....

“4 blue grass, please”

Set our asses in a corner and fight for a back support (yup we r 22year OLD so called youngsters) 

The journey of uncontrollable laughter begins or its a one man army on the battle field of entertainment if my “couple friends” are in a mood to strike against each other.

This write up would be incomplete without mentioning my lovely dumbhead friends. I shall hold on to their REAL names and go on to introduce them thusly....

Kalbande – A guy who is so strong that if a rock is thrown at him in order to injure him, the rock might shatter into thousands of pieces.

Blackie – My bestie, who thinks I m a racist n here I proved her right.

Kiddo – Just a random kid, who i might adopt if I become a millionaire.

“hey hey, look... Kalbande’s girl entered”, said kiddo looking at this girl who’s around the place most of the time. Why mention her...? She sometimes is the topic of our conversations, while we joblessly sip on our coffee. Why..? well to be very subtle and nice to the human kind, she looks odd and might appeal to Kalbande. Not just appeal, but compliment him given to his huge, strong stature, if u know what I mean... she is a complex to “ the big show”(of the old WWE series).

I say, “Oye Kalbande, super pair maga, try madle, i’ll go talk?”. *thap* “OUCH, @$#@%#@^#” a huge sound, scream, rubbing, n alot of swear words, is what happens if Kalbande touches, imagine if he HITS or PINCHES or PUNCHES. Thus, such comments are kept to a minimum and said only when I am 1km away from him. What does Blackie do while all of this is happening... well plays around with her “billionth” phone or just laughs or says “eh Kalbande, don’t hit her, she whines, not music to our ears” and yes I do whine... It HURTS Blackie, aren’t u my Bestie?!

Alcohol... one of Blackie’s and Kalbande’s favourite topics. Both Drunkards, fight if either one have not been invited to drink while the other is getting sloshed. At such conversations, I GET LOST.... and brought back to reality by Kalbande’s “touch”. Kiddo, doesn’t care, he tried his hand at drinking and loves beer and bloody does not get sloshed even if he gulps down whiskey.!

The couple fight is FUN...only when I am not asked... “Did you hear that? What I said was true or what he said”. Yeah right, why would I listen to your conversation? I would only hope for a physical tap out by either of you. I have my coffee.. where is my popcorn? (Oh yeah.. I shall be ganged up the moment they read this... all in the light spirit guys.... love u both)

We also use our precious coffee sipping time to enlighten Kalbande on “how to talk to a girl” or “how to recognize a girl who is interested in you”. We go to an extent of texting a girl he likes and ask her out for him and he does not even care. Kiddo gives him his gyan (qualifies him coz he has had a hoard of girl friends). Sometimes I feel Kalbande swings the other way. He claims to have only two girls as friends, one Blackie and the other me. He has been a state football player, a mechie (a Mechanical Engineer), a strong looking, talk dark handsome guy, but bloody can’t go and talk to a girl and also has the ass to say “ae who will take interest in me, look at me, girls will run away”. Blackie and I repeat the above mentioned traits again and again but nothing gets into his thick haired scalp and brain. This paragraph is for all the girls looking for a great guy who is a “One woman man” kinds, little rough on the outside but a darling at heart. (Ass, see I turned my blog into a matrimony site for you. You better owe me a good lunch or dinner)

Our conversations can start from what colour is that guy’s shoe to what guitar do you want to buy to hey why are you sad to “shady female” to why is the sky blue to what does the future hold for you to why is the coffee burnt to throwing sugar onto Kalbande’s curly hair and cleaning that might take over a fortnight. Using weird phrases like “magne beda, hodskolthiya”, “thu ninajji”, “sick ass”, “sexy”, “look look”, “such an ass”, ”bleady”, “i’ll throw you outta that window”, “I know them, I know them, thu you don’t. No gossip”, “is that guy carrying his girl friend’s bag :D”, “why does he come here every day”, “they are touching each other, look look... free low end porno”, “she must be blasting him, he is almost crying.. papa they are breaking up” etc etc.

These are some of the meets I long for. A `25 coffee and most of all the laughs I encounter with these bleady assholes at the end of a tiring day are priceless. They humiliate you, curse you, embarrass you, hit you till you turn blue, talk shit, threaten to kill you, irritate you, scream at you, strangle you with boredom, makes you want to get lost in other thoughts while they discuss something uninteresting (how to get rid of lower back pain? Really?!), but all in all... I LOVE them. I m NOT going leave them even after I die.. Blackie and Kiddo, this is for u – I shall take all the revenge when I turn into a ghost and make you scream “fuck you” MUHAHAHAHAHA..! 

(more to come... just the beginning)

That's She!!! That's Her!!!

Something that I read on one of the social networks...! Goes to all my lady friends, no matter how much of a tom boy we portray ourselves to be, there's this small little part of our heart that yearns for true love..! read on and enjoy....

When she is quiet, millions of things are going on in her mind

When she is not arguing, she is thinking deeply

When she looks at you with eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you'll be around

When she answers 'I am Fine' after a few second, She is not at all fine

When she stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying

When she rests her head on your chest, she is wishing to be yours forever

When she wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered

When she says 'I Love you', she means it

When she says " I miss you', no one in this world can miss you more than that

Life only comes around once, Make sure you spend it with a sense of true love

Find someone who calls you beautiful and not HOT, who calls you back when you hang up, who will stay awake just to watch you fall asleep, who will kiss you on the forehead...who will hold your hand in front of friends, who constantly says and shows how much he cares and says how lucky he is to be with you, who turns to friends and says that's her..

Hmmmphh..!

Empty spaces intrigue me. I swoosh my hand in thin air expecting to feel something hard to justify a being. I stare into nothing at all and still my mind runs at a speed of 100kbps..! Like the neuro transmitters never stop sending  messages to the dendrites, like millions of sperms waiting to break the wall of an ova, like thousands of ants waiting to find a small little piece of sugar, like a puppy waiting to be called off its "stay" directions. Randomness of these thoughts can vary from a little life instance or just a mere existence.

I have been dragged into social gatherings and forced into such uncomfortable clothes. Out of the 5 people who come and say "hello, Netra how are you?" I am literally saying "Who are you?" to four of them and the fifth one I vaguely remember form another uncomfortable gathering. "U have grown so much : O"... isn’t it obvious, can anyone grow less? Is it biologically possible? At a wedding, "Next you’re in the line huh..." "Yeah... Why, are u bored of your married life that you want to put your nose into mine and gossip.. Or you have a son who can take my shit? Bring it on". This might suggest that I m socially awkward, but no. It’s the situation I am dragged into or forced to say things when I have better things to take care in my life.

I love the colors that a rainbow brings with it. Appears only when it’s cloudy and sunny at once. Marvel..! A metaphor to what a human can be at times. Cloudy is usually a sign of melancholy and sun a sign of happiness. Nature can put the two to together and bring out seven colors of joy. I have recently learned that I can totally love even a glimpse of sadness hitting me hard and turn it into a 1000watt smile. A huge achievement? Would beg to differ. Just the walks I take and look at all those God willing things taking place every second, gives me a new life, a new being, a new meaning.

Empty spaces are exactly what a person perceives them to be. Staring at an empty wall and imagine it to be filled with pictures from the past, look into empty thin air and imagine it to be filled with colorful balloons, an empty playground can be filled with loads of kids jumping around, empty glass can be filled with cool water, something brown can be a yummy chocolate, a small black fur ball can be a cute little puppy. Let your imagination fly hard into all the empty spaces you experience in life, fill your life with colors.!